sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
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He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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