3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
