Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize