She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
