i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
