Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you never un-have a 4some
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
