Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
