I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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