your room smells of hookers.
And success
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
