Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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