You just made me feel so damn special
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
is it fun? or sober?
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