I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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