flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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