end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he shaved USA in his pubs
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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