did you get engaged???
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
