last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
