At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
