There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
