I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
