that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
