Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
