in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
