what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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