The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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