...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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