Dual....:-)
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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