belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
