Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
