I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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