so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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