it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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