She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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