it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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