The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
