so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
