Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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