You made me cry and you don't even care
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
