thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
