Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
