Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
