please come you make the beer taste better
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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