Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
