...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
