She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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