Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
