Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
