This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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