Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
