Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
