He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
