Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
