What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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