He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
