You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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