Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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