____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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