So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
