im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
