you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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